You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
