Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
