booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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