So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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