it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
