And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
