All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
