Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
