I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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