the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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