Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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