someone get that fucking seahorse.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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