I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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