Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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