Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
