Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
