So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
