i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
