ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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