Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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