Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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