I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That accounts for only three of the penises
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
