Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
