evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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