oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
