She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
