I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
