just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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