her vagine was all disorganized.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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