maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize