I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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