I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
