so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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