You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So drunk its hurt
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
