3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
