I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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