A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
