Girls should come with a carfax report
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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