she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize