Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
