I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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