just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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