I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
