Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
