i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
it's great music for shaving your balls
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
