No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
