the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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