so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
