I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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