Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Someone signed my nipple.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
