is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
