And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
