I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
