found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
