Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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