brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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