I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize