i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize