at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
