I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
