Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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