dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
