those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
