I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize